Some Suggestions on HOW TO DAD
Number ONE in a series.
Children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
Prov.17:6
This booklet is the travelogue of a Dad who has gone the route. It is my experience with God in raising my six kids; my successes and failures as I tried to obey Him. It was sometimes difficult to accept where He seemed to be leading because it went contrary to convention. I sometimes acted directly contrary to the advice of Dr. Spock (who later recanted, you know) and Dr. Dobson, but the results of our exercises (my wife played a huge part, of course) are evident in the lives my children are leading now.
None of my children ever touched a controlled substance. The boys did some experimenting with tobacco and alcohol, but they have given up smoking entirely and their attitude toward alcohol is healthy. Now in their thirties they are all well into their careers, all but one being a self-paid college graduate. There is an accountant, an engineer, a telecom and website marketer, a teacher, a farmer and a housewife. Their spouses are all saved and the interesting part is that they and their spouses are all regular attenders at the same church, or branches of it, that we as a family have always attended. There are thirteen grandchildren so far with more hoped for. All twelve of these minds are in accord with mine about the raising of children even to the extent of corporal punishment. All of my children and their spouses are on very good terms. They regularly gather together and include my wife and myself. They mourn when a planned gathering must lack one of them for some reason. Many summers we all vacation together at the ocean resort where our family has been going for 25 years. I think God touched us. He gave so much grace and helped us to use it. He is to be praised for any successes I had as a dad. He uses us as a vessel; a conduit. If we will allow Him, He will do wondrous things.
I have not experienced every situation that could arise for a parent. I don’t know how I would have dealt with a kid who got caught up in gangs or drugs. I hope that the reason I didn’t have those woes is that I laid the ground-work early enough and was diligent in building on it so that my children were sort of immune. None of my children had chemical imbalances or other physical reasons for aberrant behavior except for one who used Ritalin later in college so he could concentrate in class.
Child-rearing is a serious pursuit. You really have to devote yourself to it. If you think it is something that you can do off-handedly you may end up dealing with hard cases of evil later. It doesn’t take all of your time. You don’t have to give up your career. But you must go further than mere promise-keeping. I never spent long periods in prayer over my kids. I asked often, simply, just as you would ask a friend, for help.
What kind of a man are you? Are you self-assured? Are you attractive to women? Have you ever hosted a Bible study in your home? Do you spend a lot of time detailing your car? Do you and your wife pray together everyday? Do you like church or is it an obligation? These and other questions are good to answer for yourself. We men need to know who we are.
We can read about ourselves in the Bible but shrug off the references to lust of the flesh unless we have looked within to see who we are. The spirit of man is “like a lamp searching out the innermost parts”. Be honest. The most important attribute of a Christian is honesty. Honesty with self is positively necessary. Then, honesty with God. Honesty with others is good too, but honesty with your kids is paramount. If you are honest but not sure, though, about how you are doing as a bond-slave of Jesus Christ, pray. Ask God to reveal to you how He rates you. “Search me, oh God, and know my heart; and see if there be any wicked way in me.” If you are not willing to go through these exercises put this book away. It’s not for you.
God told Abraham to walk uprightly before Him. God likes a man out front where He can see Him. Actually, He wants us out front where we realize that God is watching. God sees us anywhere we are but He wants us to be comfortable carrying on our activities under His gaze. Being aware of this will help us with the activities we choose. If you have confessed your known sins and asked God to reveal the unknown ones to you and are aware of your weaknesses you may now congratulate yourself on having something on which to rest your self-esteem: the ground. And there is no better ground to be on than the holy ground at Christ’s feet. We must be cast upon Him if we are to succeed. He said “without me you can do nothing”. If you don’t believe that you will fail at Dadding.
The biggest sacrifice you will make as a dad is giving up the life-style options you may have had if you’d had no children. Kids will form you. The Bible says that if you train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it. Well, I’ve got news. Kids train us too. Your kids will press you into a shape that you will retain the rest of your life. Are you ready for that? It can be a nice shape or it can be horrible. If you give your life up to Christ and He gives you children, and, if you lay down your life for them, you will find that what it will make of your life will be far superior to anything you ever dreamed of, back when you used to dream! If you think that what the next pages say is good, I want you to know that you can do it too.
Don’t necessarily copy me, though. Hear me? You probably won’t have to do what I did. You may not be able to do what I did. You may be called upon to live a harder life than I did. I knew a young couple who asked my daughter how did your parents do this? How did they do that? No good. You go to God. Live your own life with your kids in front of God. This book is a testimony. It is a model. I give advice, but, take it or leave it. Your situation will vary from mine. The most important thing is to be sure that you are cast upon the Lord Jesus and allow Him to lead you in your quest to be a dad.
The next installment will be posted very soon.
Children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
Prov.17:6
This booklet is the travelogue of a Dad who has gone the route. It is my experience with God in raising my six kids; my successes and failures as I tried to obey Him. It was sometimes difficult to accept where He seemed to be leading because it went contrary to convention. I sometimes acted directly contrary to the advice of Dr. Spock (who later recanted, you know) and Dr. Dobson, but the results of our exercises (my wife played a huge part, of course) are evident in the lives my children are leading now.
None of my children ever touched a controlled substance. The boys did some experimenting with tobacco and alcohol, but they have given up smoking entirely and their attitude toward alcohol is healthy. Now in their thirties they are all well into their careers, all but one being a self-paid college graduate. There is an accountant, an engineer, a telecom and website marketer, a teacher, a farmer and a housewife. Their spouses are all saved and the interesting part is that they and their spouses are all regular attenders at the same church, or branches of it, that we as a family have always attended. There are thirteen grandchildren so far with more hoped for. All twelve of these minds are in accord with mine about the raising of children even to the extent of corporal punishment. All of my children and their spouses are on very good terms. They regularly gather together and include my wife and myself. They mourn when a planned gathering must lack one of them for some reason. Many summers we all vacation together at the ocean resort where our family has been going for 25 years. I think God touched us. He gave so much grace and helped us to use it. He is to be praised for any successes I had as a dad. He uses us as a vessel; a conduit. If we will allow Him, He will do wondrous things.
I have not experienced every situation that could arise for a parent. I don’t know how I would have dealt with a kid who got caught up in gangs or drugs. I hope that the reason I didn’t have those woes is that I laid the ground-work early enough and was diligent in building on it so that my children were sort of immune. None of my children had chemical imbalances or other physical reasons for aberrant behavior except for one who used Ritalin later in college so he could concentrate in class.
Child-rearing is a serious pursuit. You really have to devote yourself to it. If you think it is something that you can do off-handedly you may end up dealing with hard cases of evil later. It doesn’t take all of your time. You don’t have to give up your career. But you must go further than mere promise-keeping. I never spent long periods in prayer over my kids. I asked often, simply, just as you would ask a friend, for help.
What kind of a man are you? Are you self-assured? Are you attractive to women? Have you ever hosted a Bible study in your home? Do you spend a lot of time detailing your car? Do you and your wife pray together everyday? Do you like church or is it an obligation? These and other questions are good to answer for yourself. We men need to know who we are.
We can read about ourselves in the Bible but shrug off the references to lust of the flesh unless we have looked within to see who we are. The spirit of man is “like a lamp searching out the innermost parts”. Be honest. The most important attribute of a Christian is honesty. Honesty with self is positively necessary. Then, honesty with God. Honesty with others is good too, but honesty with your kids is paramount. If you are honest but not sure, though, about how you are doing as a bond-slave of Jesus Christ, pray. Ask God to reveal to you how He rates you. “Search me, oh God, and know my heart; and see if there be any wicked way in me.” If you are not willing to go through these exercises put this book away. It’s not for you.
God told Abraham to walk uprightly before Him. God likes a man out front where He can see Him. Actually, He wants us out front where we realize that God is watching. God sees us anywhere we are but He wants us to be comfortable carrying on our activities under His gaze. Being aware of this will help us with the activities we choose. If you have confessed your known sins and asked God to reveal the unknown ones to you and are aware of your weaknesses you may now congratulate yourself on having something on which to rest your self-esteem: the ground. And there is no better ground to be on than the holy ground at Christ’s feet. We must be cast upon Him if we are to succeed. He said “without me you can do nothing”. If you don’t believe that you will fail at Dadding.
The biggest sacrifice you will make as a dad is giving up the life-style options you may have had if you’d had no children. Kids will form you. The Bible says that if you train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it. Well, I’ve got news. Kids train us too. Your kids will press you into a shape that you will retain the rest of your life. Are you ready for that? It can be a nice shape or it can be horrible. If you give your life up to Christ and He gives you children, and, if you lay down your life for them, you will find that what it will make of your life will be far superior to anything you ever dreamed of, back when you used to dream! If you think that what the next pages say is good, I want you to know that you can do it too.
Don’t necessarily copy me, though. Hear me? You probably won’t have to do what I did. You may not be able to do what I did. You may be called upon to live a harder life than I did. I knew a young couple who asked my daughter how did your parents do this? How did they do that? No good. You go to God. Live your own life with your kids in front of God. This book is a testimony. It is a model. I give advice, but, take it or leave it. Your situation will vary from mine. The most important thing is to be sure that you are cast upon the Lord Jesus and allow Him to lead you in your quest to be a dad.
The next installment will be posted very soon.
posted by Biblical Christianity at 10:04 PM
1 Comments:
Where is the next installment?
Ben
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